you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
