i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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