was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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