we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
