Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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