The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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