Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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