College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
