I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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