you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
