tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize
