Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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