If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
