Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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