Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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