you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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