My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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