PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
