I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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