I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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