Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
