I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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