i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
