oh god the rape fog is back!
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
