But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it's like heaven, but drunker
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
