his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
