What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
