Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
