That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
