the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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