I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
