Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
