the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
