just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
