If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
