I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
