Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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