I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
