Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
