Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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