Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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