why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
