also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
