I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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