Quick, to the slutcave!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
