at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
