So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
