so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
