I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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