I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
