You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
