she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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