first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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