I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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